Meet my big black boyfriend & back off already

I know we have been friends for years now & I always thought I knew you but now I am not so sure... A few days ago you met my boyfriend for the first time and ever since you have been acting so strange. Are you like into him or something? I feel like you were like undressing him with your eyes or like staring at his dick... I knew you liked cock but this one is mine! Stay the fuck away from my man!! How can I make this clear? What do I need to do to get this through your thick skull? I know what you are thinking, and no absolutely not am I letting you touch it! You are out of your fucking mind! First of all he isn't gay, second of all why would he agree to that? Finally... what is in that for me?? Will you actually chill out? Look, I know he is the perfect man and I can't blame you for wanting him but we can't be friends anymore if you continue to be like this. Wait, I have an idea that might just work out for the both of us.. but you have to promise if I do this for you that you understand that this is a one time thing that will never happen again. I am strictly doing this to get you off my back and freaking out my man.